A short story of Alice

Her name is Alice. But she also goes by whitee, whites, pinky, reds, fine lips, pink nipples, ey look a white gyal, sexy reds, how long yuh staying in Trinidad. Empress, honkie, convant girl, you never sweep ah floor or plait ah hair. Ooooo dey ooooo dey oooh oh oh, cyah cyah cyah cyah. She was always too skinny, too white, too rich, too poor to be one of them. They spoke in accents to her and at her. It was always a joke. Oh goush, look at white people in ah old car! Cyah, cyah, cyah. Never comfortable in her home, in her school, in her skin, she somehow managed to hide the hurt. Pretend it was ok, that she was ok. A self conscious, shy, uncomfortable girl... All ah we is one, cyah, cyah, cyah...

This native has a narrative, and it's coming out.

De Whitie Talks

I am currently working on a new and exciting project tentatively titled 'De Whitie Talks'. While reading I came across this interesting essay by Annie Pual, 'The Enigma of Survival: traveling beyond the expat gaze'. This particular excerpt stood out for me. NB, all phrases highlighted were done so by myself and not Annie Paul.

"Cozier's South African experience suggests that there is much to be gained from swiveling the steadfastly northward gaze of the expat art critic/historian in a southerly direction. The danger inscribed in the expat gaze is that one might end up being co-opted into nation narratives and thus miss the alterNATIVES such as Cozier, Ouditt, Bowen, Irenee Shaw, and others. Cozier talks of feeling "storyless" and "myth-less." The alterNATIVES are natives without narratives, or perhaps ones with unpopular or inconvenient narratives. Often their talent is recognized abroad before it is accepted as talent at home. In privileging a discourse about the self and the other exclusively, the expat gaze overlooks identities ostracized or exiled by the national. In between representations of the self and the other are lost a myriad of OUR SELVES who fall into the chasm between Us and Them. These are the untranslatables, the alterNATIVEs, those who resist translation into the language of the nation."

I think that I am one of the alterNATIVEs that Paul speaks of. The story of my nation does not include me. Where do I fit in, I often wonder? Are my narratives unpopular or inconvenient? I think so. How then do make my narrative part of the national narrative? Do I need to? Do I really want to? Does anyone else want to know or even care? Often times, I think not. Are we really all at Home in the Land of the Homeless? Some may be, but I feel that many, myself included, have a deep sense of non-belonging, an unwelcome-ness emanating from this space.

So then what of De Whitie Talks? What does the whitie have to say? Stay tuned...

Artist Statement

My work deals with issues of religion, prejudice and race relations. Due to my unique circumstances of growing up in Trinidad, I offer a different point of view on these delicate matters and contribute to the largely unvaried public discourse. All Caribbean people have been exposed in one way or another to prejudice.

Racial conflict between what is commonly referred to as the 'blacks' and the 'whites' of the region is often assumed to be the 'whites' playing the role of the oppressors and the 'blacks' the oppressed. As someone who is considered to be 'white' that grew up in a predominantly 'black' middle-class community, I am living testament that racial prejudice can go both ways. Both the 'blacks' and the 'whites' are oppressed at the hands of the other, and at times by themselves. It angers and disappoints me that a fellow countryman could be made to feel as though he doesn't belong in his own homeland.

The multicultural society of Trinidad and Tobago is full of religious fundamentalists and fanatics. These persons, who are so convinced in their beliefs, often discourage the exploration of any other belief system other than that of their own. This practice only perpetuates misunderstanding, segregation and prejudice within the society. For example my Roman Catholic parents would never allow my brother and I to attend the Divali and Eid-ul-Fitr school celebrations for fear of what spiritual attacks we may encounter. When questioned if I were to marry a Hindu man if she would attend the Hindu wedding ceremony, my mother replied that she would not, because it would not be a marriage recognised by God. I find these uninformed conclusions to be narrow-minded.

I believe that many Trinidadians are so concerned with their own realities that there is no interest in the other. The other man. The other religion. The other culture. I use my experiences in these matters as tools to digest and expel my own insecurities. The work is a reflection on my own understanding of the misfortunate actuality of the space in which I live.

The imagery found in my work is derived from the physical and social landscape of Trinidad and the experiences that take place in these spaces. My mediums of choice are paint (acrylic, emulsion, body paint) and fabric (canvas, cotton, cotton-blends). I produce sculptural works made of plaster. I also produce a bit of film/video and animation work."

Plaster Work

Examples of some of my plaster work from 2007-2008: a exciting, addictive and sometimes very painful way of working.

Trinidad & Tobago Film Festival

Luso Trinidad will be screened at the 3rd annual Trinidad and Tobago Film Festival in September at Movietowne. I was sceptical at first, as I know that it is not quite ready to be screened so publicly, but the synopsis of the film provided on the film companies website was very encouraging; I felt as though they 'got it'. So perhaps some of the short's viewers will 'get it' too. In any case the questions I will get after the screening will help me to clarify my own ideas for step two: a longer, clearer, well researched expansion of the original.